Closing Time

I don’t really know what to say as I’m sitting here in theairport leaving this amazing country full of beautiful people. I feel like Ijust got here and now it’s already time to go. I was just getting adjusted,finding my way around, and making friends.

There are things I will definitely not miss, such as thepollution of the city, the Monsoon and messes it creates, the men and theirissues, having a total of 80 mosquito bites on my body, and being sick from thefood. But these are things every traveler experiences when exposed to anotherculture. The difference is that there are only certain types of people who canhandle India with its poverty, human rights, environment, and health hazards. Thiscountry may be developing and have its issues, but there is something about itthat is very special and dear to me.

I can see now that there is no way I can just come once toIndia. I will miss the compassion of the people, the beauty of all the colors,the music everywhere, and even the food. I will especially miss the friends Ihave made while I’m here. My roommates were awesome and my classmates havebecome great friends. I have learned so much while here about religion, people,culture, and life. I can’t stop learning about India now after I just started!

This trip has definitely opened up my eyes to what my futurejob experiences may be like. I am more confident now that I can handle theculture shock of a new place and put my western lens aside to see the beauty ofa culture(s) hidden in a country full of economic disparity and,caste/religious inequality. I have seen the life that I would be living foryears at a time and I think I am up to the challenge. I know that choosing thispath of life will strain me emotionally, I will leave friends/family behind,and may be forfeiting love and children; but traveling is something I was bornto do! I can tell that this is what my life is supposed to be and I am meant tobe an anthropologist. My choice will have its consequences but I could seemyself giving up these dreams and resenting it in the future. I only have onelife, and I’m lucky enough to have the power to do what I will with it. 

I am horribly sad to leave this place, but I know it hasplanted a seed in my heart which will bring me back someday. That is somethingI need to hold on to when I come back to U.S. and begin to have reverse cultureshock. I know I will see my home with a new lens now, I’m not sure it’s a goodthing, but all I can do is try to remember my experiences here in Matt Bharat,Mother India.

Now I’m a motivational speaker? Ok..

In the last week of my India trip Meenakshi Ji and Vinay Ji asked me to come speak at Saduh Vishwani School for girls. I gave a speech on the importance of hard work and determination, as well as giving back to your community. I suppose they were inspired by my determination in school and that I work two jobs. This was a good experience to try to lift up these girls and inspire them to be independent and work hard. The kids who get the chance to go to school are hopelessly spoiled by their parents and the caste system. Maids are hired for so cheap that anyone who is not in poverty can hire one if not two to do any tiny task. That’s how big the rich/poor gap is here. There is a maid who comes to my apartments here who cleans, cooks, and does laundry. I just set dishes in the sink and the maid washes them... These young girls have gotten to the point that they don’t even turn the water off after washing their hands and expect someone to do it after them. So I was trying to explain the value of independence, not sure whether it will make a difference.

This Saturday before I left India, I taught a dance workshop that included Hula dancing and Hip Hop.  About 30 girls came to school on a Saturday and on a holiday (Lord Krishna’s Birthday) to take dance! It was fun, we danced for two hours. Many girls were so excited and thanked Meenakshi for bringing me. Two mothers also came to meet me and thank me. They had never seen anything like this kind of dance.  I’m glad I got to do what I love and inspire people at the same time. J Meenakshi Ji and Vinay Ji were so kind and took me out to lunch for my last day in town and gave me gifts from the Banjara Tribe. They were a handmade head scarf and skirt. I am so lucky to have meet such amazing influential people hear, and I’m hoping to come back and continue my work with them and these beautiful Nomadic Cultures.

Nomadic life in Alwar!

This was by far the least tourist-like excursion we havebeen on and in my eyes by far the best! We had the awesome opportunity toexplore the rural lifestyle of the people in Rajasthan. The InternationalCouncil of Cultural Relations NGO’s founders Meenakshi and Vinay took us tomeet two of the tribes they have been working with.

On the way we went to go visit our first Jain temple, inTizara. This was great to experience and learn about another main religion ofIndia. Jainism is a sect of Hinduism that emerged from the influence ofBuddhism. They believe in three ways to reach enlightenment- pray, drink onlyfiltered water, and don’t eat after sunset. One sect doesn’t believe in wearingclothes and they are often pictured meditating naked. They also don’t believein giving money offerings or donations. Mostly Jainism prays to Hindu gods andpractices Hinduism, but they also pray to the prophet who founded theirreligion. I’m not sure why but in both Buddhism and Jainism have the symbol ofholding an umbrella over the prophet. Meenkashi Ji also told us the story aboutwhy people ring a bell before entering a temple or hang them on doors. Whenstanding underneath a bell, a vibrating sensation goes through the body and issaid to provide relief from pain. Somewhere down the road this concept has beenforgotten and people just ring the bell because of the ritual practice.

After the Temple we proceeded to go visit a Tribe called theBawariya’s who used to be a hunting tribe in Royalty times. The Mirajah’s lovedto go hunting, but hunting is now banned in all of India. This displaced theBawariya Tribe and gave them no means to survive. Chinh got involved and hasnow given them land to farm and produce organic produce to distribute and sellfor profit. On the way to see this tribe we got stuck on the road entering thevillage. Dorah, the head woman of the tribal family encouraged us to use thenew road they had made, so in the efforts of pleasing her we got stuck in thefine sand for 3 hours. Her, her two daughters and a huge team of young boysfrom the village helped us dig it out. It seemed like people were so eager tolend a hand and help, however there were no grown men helping which was odd.One daughter formally welcomed us at their home by blessing us with red pastebetween our brows, sprinkling water around our feet, giving us coconut sugar,and tying a handmade Rakhi bracelet on our wrists. The Rakhi holiday is betweenbrothers and sisters, and is celebrated by giving sweets and tying thesebracelets on each other’s hands.  We hadchai and got to see the farm fields. I especially loved petting the cows andplaying with the baby goat/rabbits. I went to see how the cow food was made andanother younger woman named Dhora started talking to me about mypiercings.  She was so interested in thembecause they are in odd places. The Nomadic women have many piercings, but theyhave meanings and purpose. In broken Hindi I tried to explain that I have thembecause they are pretty, which she didn’t get. She asked why I have my tonguepierced and if it hurt. In the end I just explained that I’m American andthat’s why I pierce myself in weird places.  She was eager to show me her children as well.The young girl was dancing around so adorably in traditional style. Dhora wasgoing to teach me a dance with hands covering your face, but we got distracted.Meenakshi said that she was monitoring me carefully with them and was surprisedthat they were so open and asking questions. I was earlier describing my dreamto work with Nomadic tribes. She conveniently provides internship projects withher NGO. The tribe doesn’t usually open themselves up to a lot of outsiders,but our whole group of people seemed to be well liked and accepted. I feltproud of myself and had hope for my anthropology dreams of working with thesepeople, but I know there will be many challenges to face with research that noone can predict. I can already see the language barrier becoming an issue. Ihave tried to bridge that gap by taking Hindi classes 5 times a week for atleast 2 hours, but there is only so much you can do in 5 weeks time.

The next day we went to visit the Jogi community. Thesepeople have an ancient ancestral tradition of entertaining and telling storiestrough music. Unfortunately their art was dying as more people gave up the artto make money in commercial jobs. Chinh helped them create a world orchestrawhich plays at festivals and universities all over the world. The IndianGovernment now funds their travel expenses to increase the countries pride fortheir artists. They sing and play a guitar type instrument made out of apumpkin called an ‘ektara’.  They usethese half tambourine type instruments to clack together and play the ektara atthe same time. It was cool to watch and sounded great too. The girls of thecommunity were eager to snatch Sophia, Dollar, and me to practice their Mehendiskills (henna).  One of the girl’s nameswas Bubble. We went to see a Bhopa ruin and the empty temples where women wouldmourn their husbands by lighting themselves on fire on top of them in thetemple (Sati). 

This experience was incredible!! Meenakshi Ji and Vinay Jiwere impressed with my determination and interest so they offered me an amazingopportunity to come back and study anthropology with the nomadic tribes. Theywant me to set up a U.S. chapter of their company, and bring some students withme do an internship! ATTENTION ANTHROPOLOGIST FRIENDS, get in touch with me! Thisis something people would be dying to study. It is hard enough to gain accessto these tribes, and this organization has access to 7. There are alsocountless things to study. Botany/Ecology, farming life, musical influence,jewelry and craft making, and film and media is even a huge opportunity forsomeone. They are starting to build a dormitory for students to come study aswe speak. I’m so excited this opportunity of a lifetime has flown my way!

India’s Mc Creepers

Being a white woman in the most populated city in India is not an easy task. We endure 80% of men we walk by staring us down like animals, many men taking pictures by holding a camera up in your face at least 3 times a day (every once in a blue moon someone is polite enough to ask) , and many really odd hit lines. Ok, stare, take pictures, tell me you are a doctor and you parents will love me…whatever. This idea of white women becomes especially problematic when you enter a bus, metro, or are walking at night. There are countless issues with the public transportation, as I have mentioned before. Foreign women are not the only victims of sexual assault, Indian women are as well. Indian women for the most part don’t do anything about the issue either. There is a dichotomy of respect and disrespect towards women in this country. If the woman is family- protect her with your life; if the woman is not feel free to exploit her rights as a human if you wish to. Not all men here believe this way, but unfortunately too many do. This is why there is a separate woman’s car on the metro, and this is why men overprotect the women they are around.

Several men have taken me under their wind in a protective manner, which is genuinely nice. This gesture may have a romantic attachment or just be completely a friendly lend of hand to a female foreigner. This is something you can never predict the outcome of when meeting someone. If a man offers you a seat on a bus, you are obligated to take it. This puts you in a position to potentially have to fight of someone who was being nice just to lead to some sort of romantic situation with you. Unfortunately foreign women have a bad name in India for partying and being loose with morals, so when men see a white female a lot of times he thinks he can woo her into his bed. Now this makes it really really difficult for us respectable white women who are forced to accept basic gestures of kindness. This happened to me on the metro. A man gave me his seat, and politely making conversation asked me where my stop was. These guys are smart… I couldn’t lie because he would see where I got off anyway. Well he magically had to get off at the same stop as I did and proceeded to try to help me shop for an hour. I tried over and over to get rid of him and it was not easy. He was being very nice but unfortunately wanted me to go to dinner with him and expected more out of me. I have heard countless similar stories from other foreign women.  Sometimes you just have to be rude to get them to go away even though they were nice and helpful.

The concept of flirting in India is much more emotional and dramatic than what a western person would be used to. The people here are so open to emotion and romance! What is seen in music movies and everyday life as love would be considered completely over the top and cheesy to a westerner. Guys are so forward here; they just walk up to you and say something ridiculous. I have heard I’m a doctor about 10 times, or they say you are oh so beautiful to your face sober on any random day. My American roommate Jen even helped me once by yelling at a guy for running out of a restaurant after me. My favorite line was ‘Good Morning, Yes Yes!’- it was 10pm. Calm down guys! What makes them think I’ll just stop where I’m standing and fall in love with them? The worst/ most hilarious part is the poem text messages I get. (It’s very hard to not give your number to someone, I used to be a pro at giving the wrong numbers to guys in the U.S. Here I don’t know how to create a fake number when they are like 10 digits long . If you say give me your number and I’ll call you.. they take your phone and call their phone with it. After a few times of this I just had to turn mean on the poor guys and walk away). At least once a day I get a creepy poem from a guy like this: “Sweet-Sweet Morning, Cold-Cold Climate, Hot-Hot Tea, A little heart says Vry-Vry.” Now please tell me this isn’t creepy. I’m sure that the poor guy thinks it’s romantic and sweet, but a non-Indian would not agree.  Now there may be many explanations for this behavior. The western influence through the media depicts western women in a negative way. Indian culture as well over romanticizes even the basic aspects of everyday life (which can be beautiful went seen in the right context.

The disrespect for the woman as a whole will have another complex explanation. Many Indian women have said their country is backwards in the feminist ideals. They have progressed to the point of getting jobs in the corporate world, but the equality cannot exist when the men still have a mindset that women are dirty and if they show their shoulder they deserve to be treated less than human. I experienced the difference between wearing a Kutras everyday and one night wearing a sleeveless onsie. I even felt like I was asking for men to come grope me, which is completely absurd! It is the men’s pure inability to control himself that the women here feel at fault for abuse. They have to dress modest, avoid eye contact with men, and sit in the women’s section of the metro to avoid their primitive actions. When it comes to the time where women fight for equality in this country it will be a tough road. How can one fight for equal rights when they might put you in danger. Separation and giving up freedom creates protection. Sophia suggested that the marriage system and taboo of girlfriend/boyfriend relationships has created this. I think it’s a great insight. If men are separated in school at an early age and never interact with girls, they are bound to become sexually deprived and are encouraged to try to fulfill their wishes by other methods such as groping girls on busses. Now this is definitely a generalization, but nevertheless a large reality.

Now coming back to male protection of women, these actions are needed in India for a woman. However, these actions of protection are belittling in my eyes. When a man says ‘come’ to a woman, it is to protect a woman by keeping her close. This has happened to me several times. A guy tells me to ‘Come’ like I’m a dog. I am already following behind and don’t need to be told to do so. These subtle hints within language women project a power difference between men and women, and it is used no matter how educated a woman is. When people use this language everyday to a woman how much does the inferiority become engrained in her brain? On top of this women are looked after and taken care of to the extent that they are helpless. Even if they are educated and have jobs, they still wait their whole lives to have a husband to provide fanatically for them and take care of them. When they are this dependent on a man, what will happen if something happens in a relationship? She can’t leave and is stuck. Many women are trapped in marriages filled with battering and marital rape because of this. Not to mention that the divorce system is insane and there is no such thing as marital rape or irreconcilable differences in the law.

These are the issues on women’s rights, and men’s behavior I have been observing at trying to swallow during my stay. Thankfully I was born I a country where I have the power to stand up for myself psychologically, and have the support of other women and men behind me. I have only had to deal with the creepy men in a small dose.  I apologize for the giant spiel on feminism, but I think the issues deserve to be mentioned.

Busy busy life!

My apologies for neglecting the blog for about 2 weeks, I can't seem to find time to get everything done before I leave. Classes have been divided as we have gotten a new language teacher and Dollar our Chinese student has finally arrived. This has proved to be very helpful to my studies and I see myself progressing more in the language everyday. Our seminars have been full of great information on energy, economic growth, and the sacred feminine. This half of the course has also included meditation which is very relaxing.
Our little group of students Benni, Sophia, Dollar and I have been exploring on our own to try and see everything before we leave. We cooked for Meenakshi, Sophia and Dollas house mother, saw the Lotus temple. We went to Dilli Haat to try the food huts from all over the country as well. One day we went to Old Delhi and visited a Sik Temple, Jama Masjid, the Red Fort Light Show and famous Karims all in one night. It was interesting to wander through the muslim side of Old Delhi during Ramadan. A very nice man gave us a plate of food they eat to break their fast. It was delicious! Fried spinach/potatoes, fruit salad, and rose water. We tried to see India gate at night, but things are closing early fir the approaching Independence day of India. I cooked an American style meal with my roommates as well. :)
We managed to tour Meroli with Dohail Hashmi, a well known intellectual in Delhi, and also see the Quitup Minarar Complex. He told us some great information! Many of the mosoleums were covered in a special plaster made of eggs, daal, and ground mother of pearl. We got to see the diversity shown in the mixing of several styles of architecture in the area. You can tel what religion/nationality the stone mason was as well as the person who ordered the building made. I also learned a little about the grave stones in the mosoleums. The shape of the stone indicates the gender of the deceased. The graves are shaped like pen boxes, a box with a pen is a male and an empty box is a female. This is because men were destined to write the history and wanted to maintain this superiority even in death.
I have been learning and doing so much this week, the time seems to have gone by even faster. I am glad I have packed as much as possible into this trip, even though I'm completely exhausted.

Varanasi and Sarnath

Since we arrived about three hours late to Varanasi we started the sight seeing right away. We saw the Durga Temple (The Monkey Temple) which was painted in bright red. It was build to honor Mother Durga which is a goddess who resembles women's empowerment by riding a tiger and carrying warrior weapons. We also visited Bharat Hindu University's museum which had many interesting statues (some of Vishnu portrayed as a midget?) and lost of paintings of Krishna wooing women. We also got to see how silk is made with crazy complicated looms. We saw Vishwanath temple which is the oldest temple in Varanasi, and went to Bharat Matta Temple - the only temple dedicated to Mother India. It had a huge topographical map of India and the Himalayas.

We walked to the ghats to go get in our boat on the Ganga and it started pouring rain. We saw the spot where people burn the dead bodies and dump their ashes into the river and then went to see the Aarti ceremony. This Aarti Ceremony was very special even though it was cold and we were soaked. Thankfully I got to guard the cameras with an umbrella. The ceremony was delayed, but five men enthusiastically started ringing bells and waving incense along with music. They progressed to smoking goblets and finally huge flaming snake goblets. It was really cool to watch. The rain and the mist made the boat ride back really eerie. We passed by a ancient abandoned palace that was very spooky in the dark.We desperately tried to light our flowers in the rain and wind which failed. Only a few of ours worked.

The next day we traveled to Sarnath which is located on the outskirts of Varanasi. This is where Buddhism was created. We visited the Dharmarajika Stupa ruins which were built by King Ashoka to worship Buddha as an Idol. This is a place where the first idol worshiping of Buddha took place. Buddha never considered himself god and never wanted to be worshiped, but this happened because the people who began following Buddhism were Hindus who were used to idol worshiping. This lead to the creation of Buddha statues and idol worship of his philosophy of life. There were a lot of signs telling people to stop covering the ruins foil which was interesting.  I suppose people try to decorate holy things. The Sanchi Museum contained all of the statues found in the stupa. This was interesting to see because there were even stone carvings that included Hindu gods as well as Buddha. I had also previously believed Buddha to be a round, fat, jolly man instead of a thin man with curly hair. The fat laughing Buddha is what Buddha was transformed into when Buddhism was banished from India and carried to North East Asia. This was something I had never known about that I found quite interesting. We found shelter at the ruins from the rain where teenagers were exchanging expensive American looking birthday gifts on one side and three beggar children sat on the other side. It was sort of depressing to see two totally different sides of this country sitting under one roof seeking shelter from the rain. There were some poor starving dogs shivering in the cold, but I stopped myself from feeling sorry for them when there are humans right next to them starving and shivering as well. Those poor baby girls.
We hurried through the rain to see the spot that Buddha preached his first sermon and where the supposed 'Tree' was located.

After our rain soaked weekend we boarded the night train back to Delhi. Our train was delayed by 8 hours because of the massive power outage in the city. We had to skip class because we arrived at 2pm instead of 5am. Other than the train ride, everything is ok and I am safe and sound back home with electricity.